Wednesday, 22 April 2015

Body Confidence: It's okay to be shaky

A few years ago I went to an unconventional slimming group. It wasn't anything mad, but it was supposed to be more about our 'relationship with food' rather than actually cutting down calories. So, rather than getting the scales out, we sat in the back room of a pub together and spoke about our feelings with the organiser; a woman who had lost several stones herself before going on to form the group. 

She had her own story about what had prompted her to lose weight: a few years beforehand she had been at a BBQ and was sitting at a table, eating her food when a "friend of the family" looked over and said, loudly, "that is horrible", referring to the fact that a fat person would dare to eat in public. 

That moment, she told us, is what pushed her in to losing weight. And she sat in that back room of the pub and spoke about how that person was just being cruel to be kind and I thought ARE YOU HAVING A LAUGH MATE.

Last weekend I had an experience that really shook my confidence. I won't go into it in great detail, but essentially someone made a comment about my size. What made it worse was that I wasn't in a 'safe place'; I was hundreds of miles from home and unable to escape. By the next day I was looking at slimming clubs and thinking about how I needed to make changes in my life.

"Is this because of what happened? Because there's nothing wrong with you," said my boyfriend. "No", I lied. "I just want to be healthy." That's the problem with fat shaming. When it knocks your confidence you reverse back into the lies you grew up believing were true. Fat can never be healthy. Fat makes you a bad person. Fat means you can't ever be: attractive, desirable, successful, fashionable, accomplished. The list goes on. 

Yesterday the time for slimming club came and went. I spent a lot of time evaluating how I felt about myself, trying to work out how a small comment could make such a big impact. I liked what I saw in the mirror. I felt good about myself. And I realised that if I wanted to lose weight, it should only be for me, no one else. So we did a food shop, we went for a quick dinner at the pub, and then we settled down to watch Plus Size Wars on Channel 4. 

What a refreshing change to see fat people represented as totally normal human beings: FANCY THAT! If you missed it and want to catch up you can do so by I'd recommend watching it, particularly if your own confidence is a bit shaky. And if you do need a bit of a boost, take inspiration from all the amazing plus size bloggers about, not to mention the #WeAreTheThey hashtag that is doing the rounds tonight.  

You are not alone, but you are the only one who should be making decisions about your body. 

Sunday, 12 April 2015

ASOS Curve Placement Floral Print Dress

ASOS Curve are killing it at the moment. I could easily spend half my salary there every month. As I was browsing the sale the other day I put 10 dresses into the shopping basket before whittling them down to 2. Well, I do have to pay the bills.

When I saw this dress I instantly loved it, but was a little concerned due to the shape. As a definite pear, my bottom half is usually 2 sizes bigger than my top half; I bought the 22 and hoped for the best. When I tried it on it was just as I suspected, it fit on the bum, but the top half was baggy and it was particularly obvious at the back. Usually I'd send something like this back, but I loved the pattern so much that I decided to put a belt on and make it work. And...I think it does!

Yesterday we went for a stroll around town so I dressed for comfort and added leggings and boots, but I think this would look fantastic with tights and heels for a bit of a glam night out. 

If you are thinking about buying this dress (the last time I looked it was only available in a 26/28), you must remember that THERE IS NO STRETCH. None. Nada. Zilch. So do bear that in mind. 

On another note: how amazing is this weather at the moment? It's perfect for me; warm and sunny, but with a light breeze to cool you down (you'll be prying my black tights out of my cold, dead hands). 

Dress: ASOS Curve
Leggings: Simply Be
Boots: Catwalk Collection
Belt: New Look

Wednesday, 1 April 2015

On NOT pushing the boundaries

The other weekend I put on quite a bright, coordinating set. Before we left the house, I popped back and changed into this. It's not fashion forward, it's not daring, but it is very me. And I think that's okay.

The cold shoulder top is actually a very short, very indecent dress which I tucked into a skirt (also handy for when the wind blew my skirt up to the shock of the poor couple on the other side of the road). What with the cold shoulder and necklace it all felt a bit 90s: how I yearn for the 90s!

Everything I'm wearing is quite old, sorry! I'm definitely trying to delve into my cupboards to create new outfits out of old items at the moment. I'm also doing some big eBay clearouts too so there will soon be space to fill...

Top/Dress: Forever 21+
Skirt: Peacocks
Necklace: New Look
Trainers: Simply Be